Shining Star
by runyoucleverboy-remember
Summary: Clara gets hurt fixing a bulb and the Doctor realises that after Trenzalore, she's really not ok and gets really upset. ONESHOT Lots of Whouffle! Please review!


Clara was sat in the living room. The kids were at school and she had nothing to do. It was a Wednesday morning, but the Doctor hadn't arrived yet. "Typical." she thought to herself. The TARDIS didn't like her very much and would try to make the Doctor get on Clara's bad side as often as she could. She switched on the TV to watch old episodes of The Big Bang Theory. She'd found herself strangely intrigued with this show as she's started to understand a lot of the sciency things from picking it up with the Doctor. That was when the bulb flickered for a moment. She looked up but it was fine, so she thought she must be imagining it. Then it happened again, but this time continuously, and the bulb eventually wore out. She cursed to herself and when to find a spare bulb in the cupboard.

She rummaged around for a awhile until she finally found the right bulb shape. She was careful to switch off the light first, before removing the light. _When she was 9, her dad had changed bulbs with the electricity still on. He had a nasty electric shock, and although they laughed about it later, Clara really didn't like the look of it. _She stood on the arm chair of the sofa and leant over to remove the bulb. Because of how short she is, she was on her tiptoes. After a few wobbles, she finally removed the bulb. She placed it on the floor, and got back on the arm chair with the new bulb. As she leant over, with her arms reached out, she lost her balance completely. She tried to turn sideways to balance better but that caused her to misplace her step and stumble off the sofa. It wasn't very high but Clara had no warning. As she fell, she hit her head on the corner of the coffee table. She dropped the bulb as she fell, which smashed into pieces which she then fell on top of. She could hear herself shout for the Doctor just before she passed out.

Clara woke up, but she was still falling. Looking around, she remembered this was the Doctor's timestream. Had surviving been a dream? Was she still falling? Was she always falling, the whole time? She could hear the Doctor screaming her name, "Clara!" She knew it. She felt trapped. She could hear a million voices screaming through her mind and every second, it was getting harder to focus on the Doctor's voice. "Doctor!" she cried out, but it seemed like she wasn't making a sound. She shut her eyes and prayed that any moment she would wake up, but inside she felt like she knew she never would.

She woke up in her room. Wait, this wasn't the Maitland's house. This was her room on the TARDIS. She hardly used it but whenever the Doctor and her had an adventure that went on a bit longer than expected, she stayed in here. She felt the most awful surge of pain run through her body. It felt like...like when the Doctor pulled her out of his timestream. It wasn't a dream after all! She wanted to cry out in relief! She hadn't been falling after all. She felt the warmth of someone behind her and saw the Doctor's arms wrapped around her stomach. She smiled and tried to shuffle in a little closer, but noticed her hand surged with pain when she put pressure on it. She winced and instantly the Doctor sat up and removed the locks of hair from her face. "You ok?" he asked gently, with a very concerned look on his face. He looked into her eyes for an answer.

"What happened?" she mumbled, trying to turn around to see the Doctor. He halted her with his arms and pushed her back around.

"Don't try to turn, you might get dizzy. I'm guessing you fell Clara. I found you on the floor of your living room, passed out and lying on glass with a cut hand. It looks like you were trying to change the light bulb."

"Yeah." she breathed out, making sense of it in her head.

"I told you to let me do the fixing things!" The Doctor stated, with a slip of anger in his voice. "I don't want you getting hurt, like now."

Clara opened her mouth to call him overprotective but he stopped her. "Clara, you really hurt your head and fell on glass. That could have been much worse than it was. I don't want to lose you."

"Doctor, since when did you get all fussed over me falling off a chair? I'm not going to die from that for goodness sake! Besides why are you being all scared and overprotective?"

She trailed off her words when she looked behind her to see the Doctor's gaze. He looked generally scared and that made her go quiet. The Doctor didn't say anything, but nuzzled his nose into Clara's hair. She wanted to know what had brought all this on, but didn't want to move in case she spoilt the moment. She felt his breath on her face and she breathed with him, every time he rose his chest heavily. She could hear his heartbeats pumping faster and she closed her eyes to relax. She thought she should feel alien in the Doctor's arms but it felt right. Like home, somewhere she should be and will always go come back to.

He took in her scent heavily. He couldn't get enough of it. He held her closer and closer until her tiny body was perfectly in line with his.

"Why didn't you tell me?" the Doctor suddenly whispered quietly into her ear. She shivered at the sudden sound but kept her eyes closed.

"Tell you what?" she questioned.

"That you're scared. About the nightmares." How could he know about that? Ever since Trenzalore she kept on dreaming of her other lives. And falling. Yes, falling over and over but never landing.

"How did you know about that?" Clara whispered, suddenly tense and her body stiffened. Her breathing rate increased and the Doctor loosened his grip on her but was still there, as if it was reassurance he wasn't leaving.

"Angie's been telling me that you've been screaming at night. You'll never fall asleep on the TARDIS anymore. And just now, when you passed out, you spoke in your sleep."

"Spoke?" Clara asked. She was angry with Angie as she had specifically told her not to tell the Doctor. But right now, she needed to know what the Doctor had heard. She didn't want him to think she was vulnerable. And she didn't want him to know about the countless times she'd saved him and in what horrific ways she'd died for him.

"You were calling for me. But even when I held you, and assured you I was there, you carried on crying out. Like you couldn't reach me. You were begging for me to make the pain stop. You kept telling me to run. Telling me that I have to go." She could hear his voice was thick with tears and she wanted to make them stop, but she was frozen where she was.

_He picked her up to take her to the TARDIS. He could heal her wounds there and make sure no-one found out about the accident, for embarrassments sake. "Doctor." she murmured. She kept whispering his name over and over, each time getting louder and louder. He placed her on her bed, in her room. Suddenly she cried out in pain. _Timelords are slightly psychic, he knew that. But this time it was different. It was like he could feel all of her pain wrenching inside of him. _He ran over to her and held her body, "I'm here Clara, I'm here." He tried to calm her down but couldn't. _

_"Run, Doctor run!" she shouted. "Please go!" she kept on telling him to leave but he couldn't. She was dreaming. It was like she couldn't wake up. Maybe because of hitting her head? "I'm falling. I can't stop falling!" She cried. The pain in her voice was tearing his hearts apart. " It hurts. It hurts so much. Please, please make it stop. Doctor make it stop! please." She was thrashing her arms and legs. He held her down to calm her and shushed her. He planted kisses on her head and kept trying to soothe her. She eventually started to breath normally and calm down. Like a knife, her whisper cut the new found silence. "Doctor, please see me. Please say goodbye. Don't leave me alone. You never see me. I call for you a million times but you never hear. You are all I see yet you never notice me. Everything I do, I do for you. Yet I'm alone. I don't want to die alone. I don't want to die. But I do, again and again. Make it stop. Please Doctor make it stop." _He could feel her terror. The feeling of being abandoned. She felt weak and lost. Likeshe couldn't grasp onto reality. This was all a murmur, but with such hurt and terror in her voice. She kept dying for him when he didn't even look at her. But he did. She was the first thing in his mind every minute he was awake and in every dream. He loved his impossible girl. HIS impossible girl. HIS Clara. And this was killing him. It was killing her.

A while later, after Clara and the Doctor stopped crying, they finally talked. Well, the Doctor gave a monologue.

"Clara. I'm sorry. I taught you that the universe comes first. That nothing matters more than the universe and in order for that to survive, it needs me. I taught you that fear was irrational and to put it behind you. I may not have meant to, but I taught you to sacrifice yourself for me. I taught you to never show emotion and to bottle it all up. I don't want you to hide Clara. I want to help. I call myself the Doctor. What kind of a name is that? A Doctor that, if I'd left you alone, you'd be safer and okay. I didn't help you. I broke you. Into a million pieces. And in return, I never did enough. Nothing will ever be enough for your sacrifice. I love every inch of you Clara. Every scattered piece of confetti. Every nightmare and every dream. But I am the nightmare Clara. The thing that attracts you, but once you're close enough, hurts you. The danger in life. And I'm selfish. I wanted you, pulling you into the danger. But I want you safe too. I wanted to keep you safe myself, but how can danger itself keep someone safe? And now I've hurt you. I need to make you safe again, no matter what. You tell me to run, but I can't carry on without you. Love made me a monster Clara. I promise to protect you from the monsters. Including me."

Clara had kept quiet throughout his speech but she was crying. Was he leaving her? He couldn't be. No. All because she fell off a damn sofa.

"No!" she half-shouted at him. "You're not a monster, no."

"Clara, I..."

"No. Don't you dare tell me I'm not safe with you because I am. I don't feel right without you. I'm not whole without you. Please tell me you're not dropping me back on Earth?"

"Clara..."

"All this for falling on the floor? Are you serious?" She was crying but outraged at the same time. "Doctor, without you, I can't cope. Being with you is the only thing that keeps me alive. I need you Doctor. Please, don't leave me." She was now in a desperate whisper and internally was curling up into a ball, to stop herself from being hurt.

"I can't have you in danger Clara. I can't hurt you anymore..."

"Can't you see, this is hurting me? It'll hurt me more if you leave me." She turned around to face him, ignoring the pain in her head and her damaged hand. She pulled her hand to his face and gazed up into his eyes. She saw the tear stains down his cheek and he saw her tears too. They both were a mess and needing each other. "I need you Doctor. I love you."

She loved him? He never thought he'd hear those words from her. He had tried to say it earlier but never once said the three simple words. But that's why she did it. She jumped into his timestream because she loved him. And he went in, after her because he loved her too. When he looked into her eyes, he saw every star, every civilisation. Every galaxy and solar system. Simply, he saw the universe in her. She was his everything. His shining light. She was perfect to him. They way she flicked her perfect brown locks. The way her eyes lit up whenever she saw a new planet or star. The way she'd tease the Doctor and giggle, that adorable laugh when he blushed. He loved her.

"I love you too." He whispered. Clara looked down in shock. Had she really just declared her love for him? And he said it back? He had said he loved her earlier but not simply, "I love you." More tears rolled silently down her cheeks and she sniffled slightly. The Doctor pulled her chin up, to look at him with the tip of his index finger.

Both of them with red-raw eyes and puffy cheeks, they leaned in to kiss each other.

Clara's lips were so soft. Partly because she had been crying, but also because that's just how they were. Like rose petals, the Doctor thought. The Doctor pulled her in tighter, making sure he wouldn't let go. As if he'd lose her if he did. Clara felt the passion in the kiss. The way he held her. His lips were quite rough but felt so perfect on hers. Her hands were wrapped tight around his back and she got as close as she could to him. Although the kiss was passionate, it was sweet and gentle. Not too little but not too much. They pulled away, after what felt like two minutes, simply to catch their breath.

"wow." Clara whispered, never unlocking the gaze into the Doctor's eyes.

"wow." the Doctor whispered back, smiling and leaned in for another kiss. All they needed was each other, and that would always be enough. He whispered promises of love and dedication to her as he kissed her and then started speaking in Gallifreyan. It was beautiful, Clara thought. At first it seemed like a lullaby, but then she started to understand the words. Remembering her echoes life on Gallifrey, she recognised the language. It was so familiar, yet at the same time so beautifully foreign.

He started to sing her a lullaby in Gallifreyan. He spoke of love, duty and forever.

_I'll be the star that keeps you warm. Don't fade away, I'll always stay_

_Whether you're here a thousand years, or one, I love you so, This you must know_

_I swear by the suns that shine so bright, the distant galaxies in the night_

_That the hills of Perei and moons of Afrew, will never be as beautiful as you_

It was the most beautiful song Clara had ever heard. An old, love song from the Timelords. She joined in to sing the chorus.

_Together we will dance on high, twisting and turning in the golden sky_

_And nothing in the whole of time and space, will make me happier than seeing your face_

She suddenly realised she was singing alone. "Why did you stop?" she pouted?

"You know Gallifreyan?" It suddenly occurred to her that she had been singing in another language.

"Well I guess a few of my echoes were there and I..."

She couldn't finish the sentence as the Doctor sealed his mouth on hers. It was a kiss of everything. Holding on so tight. They kissed all night and he whispered words of love to her in Gallifreyan that were so strong, no human word could describe them. She whispered his name. His real name to him, over and over, assuring him that she would never go. That this was forever. Or at least as long as it could be.

Later that night, they asleep in a tangle of limbs. The Doctor kissed down Clara's neck and murmured, "you are so beautiful." She fell asleep lying in his arms, content to stay there forever.


End file.
